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Archive for August 2014

Alexisonfire and the Music Apocalypse

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The music apocalypse came and went. It came in 2001 and went in 2011. It came and went in the life span of a band who was so contrived, so fake, with such a sense of privilege, their band name was the simulacrum of a Twitter handle; comment section username for a girl with an obnoxious website touting herself and her banal daily doings.

The music apocalypse came and went with band called, Alexisonfire.

They are categorized as a hardcore punk band. Yet they employ Joy Divisionish jangly guitars and 80s sop-pop vocals throughout their songs. They are also categorized as “metal,” yet they are no more metal than, say, Future Islands. Their appearance is that of Ivy League grad students who properly outfitted themselves in common metrosexual wear – except the members of AOF are from Canada, so they tend to wear patchwork-appearing flannel shirts stolen from hunters —— or Buffalo Exchange’s Retro-Grunge section.

AOF is today’s girl band music, all emo and full of shit can, look I’m angry and at the same time catalogue clothes perfect, me-centricity. They are so girly that if these words were in the public domain they would be assailed as the words of a music-ignorant heretic; all female and too many virtual panty-sniffing punk boys would “Unfollow” and “Block” me, as if the act would properly banish me to another solar system – to a planet where an essential daily living regimen includes having bad taste in every facet of life, where English food is consumed and regurgitated —— and consumed and regurgitated all over again.


Alexisonfire now exists only as a You Tube, bevy of dedication sites, Wikipedia entry, memory. After squeezing every penny, shekel, pence and pound of money and flesh from 12-to-40 year old girls (the women wishing they were of today’s Monster High Doll-hugging, Ghost Whisperer watching, sleep over but not sleep until sunrise because the finale of Ghost Whisperer season three kept them up all night huddling together in blankets, emotional status girl), with their post break up, “special” CDs, outtake one-off compilations, and their final finale of a reunion tour, AOF is, thankfully, no more. The girls and the “girls,” and the metroplex metrosex boys are in the “waning grief” lunar cycle (menstrual to soon begin) over the loss of “their” Beatles. Even while AOF Facebook post, Tweet Favorite and Heart, name-the-syndrome twitch commiserating, their lizard-brain dominant consumer selves are begging for “the next big band” not spawned by a three-letter television talent show, or an MTV disassociated from reality, reality series, or by a supergroup comprised of the deep waters of existing, we gotta do multiple nights at a Vegas casino means making it, pool of almost dead 80s hair band gods turned NA grad, 12-step pusher-pimps.

I’m going to start a band tomorrow called, Boysaregirlstoo, where our members – and our members – will have nom de plume’s like, Lucien Cain and Stone Smith and Peter Pantera and Gerald River (that would be snark for, Geraldo Rivera, if you were still ruminating over a circle jerk of 40-year old women huddled under blankets in tees and panties only, shivering with little girl faux terror).

And I’d watch all the scene girls and their scene girl moms and scene girl singles come running, resplendent in their self-sexed-soiled, sequined panty, splendour.

Yum… and welcome to the dawning of a new musical day.

Written by dwil

August 20, 2014 at 8:54 am

Don’t Be a King, Unless You’re Prepared to Mob and Rob (originally written 9.19.09

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The man above has spoken. And it’s like Hollywood out there is the “real” world where images are made to be broken. The man above in his position on high believes he can act unprofessionally and never be held accountable for his acts. He can lie about your professional experience and threaten your future in your profession, all because the truth of his agenda lends an unflattering light to his facade.

You see, to anyone who fails to want to know, he will point to his limited experience as a journalist and tell you it is vast. He will tell you that content is of utmost importance to him, yet he will oversee employees who write a hit piece full of spin and  and personal attacks, enlist the aid of the “competition,” and allow no one to comment on the tale told.

That is how important content is to the man above.

To the man above, who is not a major in English, who is steeped in understanding the vagaries of the look of what we read, not what we read, it is more important for the agenda of his masters to be replicated than it is to provide a balanced view of this thing we call sports. He and his minions with the microcassette players in their hands, who attend the press conferences and ask the banal questions under sanitized conditions, then who wade into the locker rooms and clubhouses to get a sniff of a jock, who hate the men who jump high, throw far, and run fast because of their money and comparatively limited educations – whoops! I just let on that I actually spent 12 minutes inside a press box, not the requisite 10, or was that number a figure of speech or an attempt at being collegial, like using “Hey” as a salutation before ripping me to shreds for providing you with the information you asked for, oh four times on the telephone, or did I not understand that we were having a beer and pretzels conversation (and was doing the same with your underling) and showed a pattern of misconstruing compliments. Or do you really believe that I haven’t done “the beat thing”; that I actually was not voted the Beat Reporter of the Year award by the SID at George Mason University (that would be the B.O.Y. which is what you so badly want to say wanted to call me: “Hey, BOY!”). I’m sorry, SID is an acronym for Sports Information Director.

You know, come to think of it – there I go again, thinking – when you explain to someone that you can no longer share ideas with them unless an offer is imminent and a few weeks later the person call for ideas as if you worked for the man above, there can only be one understanding of that request; an offer is imminent, yes?

But in your world the answer is, no. Oh hell, it’s only shits and giggles and what’s 97 days to the man above and his underlings, they eat juuuuust fine. and they sleep juuuuuust fine – knowing the hole in their behinds still exists.

Now, I am willing to wager that the experience you say I do not have, is more than yours. That I have written the equivalent of four years of work in 14 months should provide you with a clue as to what I am and what I do. But you wouldn’t notice that, you’re too wrapped up in the content, right?

I’ll be the first to say that myopia should be declared a national epidemic.

And you know how I found out that, though you are the man above and there’s a man above you, one of your underlings advised me to seek an audience with that person – only after you showed exactly how unprofessional you are by not acknowledging the umpteenth email sent with clips; I did that at the behest of the same underling who advised me to talk to the man above the man above (who would be you).

Written by dwil

August 10, 2014 at 2:06 pm

Spygate: Cracking the J-School 101 Code

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The most interesting portions of all the pre-Super Bowl XLII shows were those in which “Spy-Videogate” was discussed. While the “talent” and ex-NFL players at ESPN, almost to a man, freaked out about the possibility of the New England Patriots taping the St. Louis Rams walk-through before Super Bowl XXXVI, the reactions of the pregame crews of the NFL Network and FOX were vastly different. There was one person at each of the other two networks who appeared to be genuinely offended by the thought of videotaping the Rams’ final on-field maneuvers before Super Bowl game day. At NFLN Adam Schefter, former Denver Post sportswriter and writer and Curt Menefee, the host of FOX’s pregame show.

It made me seriously wonder why and how those men at ESPN banded together and were so vehement in their seeming hate – or extreme dislike – of Bill Belichick and so willing to blindly believe what they heard about the videotaping of the Rams’ walk-through. They appeared to act with a hive mind and speak as one, with each trying almost too hard to trumping the other’s self-righteous stance.

Meanwhile at NFLN Schefter was fixated on the fact the Patriots won each Super Bowl by three points as if it was some sort of magic number while Menefee was going crazy over the lack of concern over the alleged incident by Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, and Jimmy Johnson.

Trent Dilfer told Schefter that if there was anyone to blame in the incident it was Dick Vermeil for having a final walk-through that was any more than a glorified excuse for the team to get together and expend some energy the day before the game. Dilfer, a Super Bowl-winning quarterback with the Baltimore Ravens, went on to explain that there was no way the Rams’ offensive players were walking through their goal line plays.

On FOX, the ex-players and Johnson, Super Bowl winners all, took turns dispelling any importance on the videotaping of a walk-through, if there was one. However, when it came time for Johnson to talk, illuminating comments spilled forth from the ex-Dallas cowboys and Miami Dolphins head coach’s mouth,

Johnson told Menefee and the nation that one of the producers at FOX witnessed the Rams’ alleged walk-through. He then dropped these bombshells: the Rams did nothing more than drift around the field and gather for a team photo and, no one from the New England Patriots was there videotaping anything.

Menefee replied weakly and posed a hypothetical, what if there was someone would you be angry, question. After Long and Bradshaw laughed at Menefee, the host quickly quieted down and adroitly changed topics.

With all their resources, with Mike Fish and Gregg Easterbrook, NFL specialists John Clayton, Michael Smith and Chris Mortensen pumping up the volume on the importance of former Pats employee, Matt Walsh, who worked in the New England videotaping department, how is it that they all failed to know this information?

Easterbrook went so far as to play the “Journalism 101 card” in his article which acted to castigate anyone he must have felt who is an outsider and is questioning the veracity of ESPN’s reports of New England’s videotaping practices. That Fish and Easterbrook are hot-wired to Walsh, who might have breached his confidentiality agreement by possessing videotapes that are the property of the Patriots organization, and seem ready to stake their reputations on the seemingly shady character, there is ample information to quell the notion that the Patriots engaged in taping a St. Louis Rams walk-through the day before their Super Bowl game against New England.

In the pre-production meeting before NFL Countdown on the Super Bowl XLII Sunday, who met with or talked by phone the Chris Berman, Tom Jackson, Steve Young, and Mike Ditka? How is it possible that no one at ESPN had the information Jimmy Johnson had? NFL Countdown producer Jay Rothman surely had a hand in what information was to be disseminated to the public. But Rothman and/or his assistants probably – and rightfully – leaned on the information provided to them by the reporters covering the alleged taping incident.

At the same time, we were and are left to wonder what Steve Young’s Super Bowl Saturday “walk-through” experiences were. How about Emmitt Smith’s? After all, he played for Jimmy Johnson when the Cowboys won three Super Bowls in the 1990s. How about Ditka? He in played in Super Bowls for legendary Cowboys head coach Tom Landry and was the head coach of the Chicago Bears Super Bowl-winning team. Perhaps they, unlike their peers on other networks lined up in various formations and discussed the execution of given plays; yet it is difficult to imagine Smith did, since he played for Johnson.

It appears that faulty information provided by ESPN journalists allowed for the NFL Countdown crew to tow the line and report the distinct possibility that a New England Patriots staffer – Matt Walsh? – videotaped the St. Louis Rams walk-through the day before their Super Bowl game against the Pats. Through this lens the countenance of Countdown crew can be understood and much of their vehemence toward the Patriots can be absolved.

However, what cannot be absolved is the J-101 lesson readers were treated to at the hand of Easterbrook:

Flash back to September. After the league made its strange decision to destroy the materials, then refused to say what they contained, several media figures, including me, did this Journalism 101 exercise: Current scandal involves current taping by the Patriots. Are there any former Patriots video officials from New England‘s Super Bowl runs? That led to a former New England scout and video department official named Matt Walsh, who now lives in Hawaii. Simultaneously, the NFL grapevine was alive with rumors — caution, rumors — that the Patriots were guilty not just of taping sidelines during games but rather of much more serious transgressions. The primary rumor, which was reported Saturday by the Boston Herald, was that the Patriots secretly taped the St. Louis Rams’ private walk-through before Super Bowl XXXVI, that the Pats knew some of the Rams’ plays and formations in advance.

Saturday morning, the Boston Herald ran a story asserting the Patriots secretly taped the Rams’ private walk-through before Super Bowl XXXVI. The Herald cited an unnamed source and did not name Walsh as the person behind the camera.

Also Saturday, Mike Fish reported on ESPN that St. Louis‘ walk-through was devoted to red zone plays — all new plays and new formations the Rams had not shown during the season. Going into that Super Bowl, the Rams’ “Greatest Show on Turf” was the league’s highest-scoring team. In that game, St. Louis was held to a field goal in the first half. The Rams kept getting bogged down, as if New England knew what plays were coming. If the Patriots secretly taped the Rams’ walk-through, then stopped the red zone plays the Rams showed in that walk-through, then won that Super Bowl by three points, then logic says New England materially benefited from cheating in the Super Bowl. If true, this would be the worst sports scandal since the Black Sox.

Let’s put that in capital letters: IF TRUE. We don’t yet know whether the Super Bowl allegations are true. Then again, we are into only the second day of information going on the record and the league finally answering some questions about the subject.

The words scream out, ‘the worst scandal since the Chicago Black Sox!’ And these are preceded by the ominous-sounding:

“The Rams kept getting bogged down, as if New England knew what plays were coming.”

Be afraid of the hoodie, be very afraid; the boogie man cometh.

The words scream out, ‘Journalism 101’, if you didn’t take it, no one wants to hear a peep from you, your voice does not count.

I wonder if Jimmy Johnson took Journalism 101 long, long ago at the University of Arkansas because he seems to have remembered more from his class than either Easterbrook or Fish. Then again, isn’t investigative reporting an art unto itself?

Either way, with Jimmy Johnson’s divulging that the Rams did not walk through their goal line offense plays, that they had no walk-through at all, makes one think that J-101 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Chad Johnson Is…

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Chad Johnson is what happens when the black “athlete,” the black “player” begins to act as a man.

Chad Johnson is what happens when the hardest-working player on the team becomes a scapegoat for an immature team’s failings.

Chris Henry, on the other hand, is what happens when an immature member of the team is allowed to keep his immature behind on the team because he can catch passes. Chris Henry should have been jettisoned from Cincinnati as soon as the clock went to “0:00” in Week 17 last season.

Chris Henry exemplifies the problems in the Cincinnati Bengals locker room. While Chad Johnson has honed his craft to a fine point, which shows in the statistics he put up over the last five seasons.

It is Chad Johnson’s “opinion” when he says the Bengals need to change their culture to win. It is fact when a sports columnist or television pundit says it is so. To demean Chad Johnson people preface their remarks about him with, “He likes to talk” as if he is speaking just to hear himself speak, not to enact change in the Bengals’ organization.

When you are Chad Johnson, your coach says the following about you:

“It’s unfortunate that Chad has put himself in that situation, because a lot of people who really had affection for him now see him in a different light.

If (Chad) shows and does things, and does (them) the right way, I’m willing to take the bullets for him again and allow him to come back the right way,”

That situation was Johnson thinking about holding out for the 2008-09 season. And it is curious that his head coach, Marvin Lewis, insinuated that he took criticism for defending Chad Johnson in the past and that Johnson, the player who spends entire nights at the Cincinnati Bengals’ facilities studying film and working out, does “things” the wrong way. While many Bengals do things the wrong way, unless there is a set of circumstances that is beyond the purview of the press, Chad Johnson does not do “things” any way but the right way.

But Chad Johnson is what happens when the press chooses tearing you down is better for ratings than is explaining to a readership – viewership, too – how the stereotypes you built for Black athletes don’t apply to Chad.

Written by dwil

August 10, 2014 at 1:52 pm

Before the “Afro-Saxons” Get Hold of Cam and Mike…

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Just to get ahead of the neo-negroes who are in the process of attempting to coon their way to prominence (even if it means signing in Mickey Blood or donning Minnie’s dress)…

When Black QBs – e.g. Cam Newton or Michael Vick – are written about in context of the team around them, it is interesting that neo-negroes await to pounce on any writer – but particularly Black – who would do so; who would actually perform the duties of a journalist.

You see, there is an adage about black people who feel animus toward the glaringly few Black writers who do write about athletes, including black athletes, in their proper context. And the adage fits all “minorities,” no matter their standing: whenever a person not of the dominant culture seeks to mimic the actions, beliefs, or social mores of people of the dominant culture, they become caricatures of the people they mimic – and, therefore, caricatures in the eyes of all who would see them.

This blind mimicking, this Laconda-like want to NOT honor self but so yearn to be of a dominant culture that acts as a macrocosmic cancer to anything not of itself with which it comes contact, is so deep that these afro-saxons will sell Black people out, as did Lacondas who were injected back into Africa and used as African-selling middlemen for their White masters.

You see, these lawn jockeys whose main purpose is to ensure that racism is condoned in America, never talk about Tom Brady after a debilitating loss; the “pouting Tom” who can barely speak during press conferences who, like Cam Newton And Michael Vick, always speaks of how everyone, including him, must play better the next time around. They never throw Peyton Manning under the bus when his teammates lose games and Manning launches into one of his diatribes where he subtly blames everyone but himself, as he has done his entire career.

No, no, these “we sick boss” negroes cover their ears when their adopted idols speak, so that they remain ignorant of the post-loss sulking and pouting of White quarterbacks. They then turn to White-owned media outlets and read and listen to the soliloquies about the NFL’s prescribed QB heroes written by their White sports-writing masters.

And like the crabs in a barrel they are, when they see a crab free of the barrel, they become angered to the point of exhibiting pathological behavior, seeking with malice to do everything they can to pull the free crab back into their clutches.

Few pundits in any field would have ever thought that in 2012 Black people in America, as a collective, would be farther than ever from self-actualization.

The clicking of claws grows ever louder.

Written by dwil

August 10, 2014 at 1:29 pm

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